


The Taste That Your Lips Allow (1/2)

by serohtonin



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Blow Jobs, Drunk Dialing, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-05
Updated: 2012-09-05
Packaged: 2017-11-25 12:39:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serohtonin/pseuds/serohtonin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lonely and horny Chris drunk-dials Darren. Then Darren does the same, Later, Chris discovers Darren might want more than just alcohol-induced sex from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Taste That Your Lips Allow (1/2)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by and the title is taken from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ9hB107AHs&feature) song. As (almost) always, thanks for looking this over [Christine](http://http://bononoh.tumblr.com) Check this fic out on [tumblr](http://sadeyesblaine.tumblr.com/post/30156264406/the-taste-that-your-lips-allow-a-chris-darren-fic) if you want.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone mentioned and I don't claim anything in this to be true, except for Darren kissing Chris at Glee Live because that actually happened. Everything else is completely made up.  
>  This fic is inspired by and the title is taken from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ9hB107AHs&feature) song. As (almost) always, thanks for looking this over [Christine](http://http://bononoh.tumblr.com) Check this fic out on [tumblr](http://hearteyesblaine.tumblr.com/post/30156264406/the-taste-that-your-lips-allow-a-chris-darren-fic) if you want.

Chris struggles with the corkscrew on a bottle of wine before finally popping the cork. He pours some champagne, a gift from someone for finally publishing his book, into a glass.

A childhood dream is literally coming true right before his eyes, a couple dreams actually, counting the movie getting wide release. His career has been going amazingly well and he’s been going nonstop ever since Glee wrapped. He loves it; he wouldn’t know what he’d do with free time, if he had any extended amount of it.

He does miss his friends at his regular gig, though, who have become more like a family throughout the past two years. They’ve shared a lot, seen each other at their best and their worst, and Chris doesn’t know which ones he’ll see routinely come August. Sure, some are probably a given: Lea, Darren, Jenna, but others may not be around so much. The landscape of the job he’s grown so much on is changing and it’s a little bittersweet, much like an actual high school graduation. Chris is excited to move on to new opportunities, both for Kurt and for the new challenges in playing him, but he’s learned so much and made many friends, so it hurts a little to see some of them leaving.

\----

Three glasses of wine in, and as Brian jumps up behind him on the back of the couch, Chris finds himself in the horny stage of tipsiness, as he’s mentally rating the attractiveness of all his friends. Lea’s hot, but of course, she doesn’t rank as high as any of the men of the cast. Cory’s cute, but a little too tall for Chris’ taste, Chord is conventionally good-looking, blonde, toned, and hilarious to boot. Mark’s funny too, and he can turn on the swagger, similar to his character. Thinking about them sort of leaves a weird taste in his mouth, however, because they’ve become more like brothers than anything, and despite Chord and Mark’s playful flirtation, they’re all as straight as they come.

But then there’s Darren, who is actually also straight, Chris sighs, but is more of a wild card. He’s certainly the most touchy-feely of all the guys. One night, after a show last summer, Darren was not at all hesitant to sit on Chris’ lap, greeting him with a smile and a, _“Hey TV boyfriend. Your hips don’t lie, huh?”_ All Chris could do was laugh it off, well over his issues with personal space after spending so much time with all these people. He did feel his pulse quicken a bit due to the proximity of the other man, but he chalked it up to not getting any sexual gratification recently and that it had nothing to do with his friend. His attractive, amazing friend who later gave him an impromptu kiss on stage, which actually wasn’t impromptu at all, Chris had discovered.

A kiss that Chris couldn’t stop thinking about now, nearly a year later. He’d been going through a drought, again, and it had been so long since anyone touched him so he allowed himself to think about the way Darren had grabbed his face and passionately kissed him. Yes, they were both in character, but something about this kiss was different from the others. Darren just went for it, as he always did, but Chris didn’t know it was coming, didn’t have time to prepare for the spark ignited low in his belly when Darren’s tongue snuck into his mouth, then quickly retreated. This kiss seemed more forceful than the others, like Darren knew he didn’t have to be as restrained as Blaine normally was, but rather more like himself, like he was playing fast and loose with the boundaries of their art, and of their friendship. Then the kiss was over before Chris could even process it further. He didn’t ask Darren why he kissed him, or why in that manner because he figured Darren was trying to get him to crack.

 

Apparently, he did, albeit belatedly, since he’s thinking about it now. He should have known by the dark look he caught in Darren’s eyes a split second before he said, “Shut up, c’mere,” and the way he had licked his lips right after,“Kurt, you had me at Emmy.”

When they kissed, Chris could pinpoint a hint of spice and something else indescribable he always tasted whenever Darren’s lips touched his own. Chris had played off his own surprise as Kurt being stunned by his boyfriend as he fell to the stage, yet he couldn’t help but wonder what he would do if Darren ever confronted him in private and kissed him like that. Darren would probably be even less controlled than he was then, considering that kiss was mostly for show.

Their hips and groins would press together while Darren licked and moaned into his mouth. Maybe stubble would scratch against Chris’ cheek when Darren pulled away, sucking at Chris’ neck.He’d probably leave marks and talk dirty. He’d want Darren to be a little rough but still commit soft gestures like squeezing Chris’ hips and gently lying him down as they learned each other’s mouths, and maybe more, without the barriers of their characters.

Chris finds that one hand is sneaking into his pants, and the other’s reaching for his phone, scrolling to Darren’s number before his brain can catch up with the consequences. It’s not super late and Darren’s almost always awake, so he figures he’ll get an answer, and he does after two rings.

_“Hey, what’s up?”_

“Hi.”

_“What’s goin’ on, Chris?”_

“Nothin’ much. I was just thinking about you, is all.” He unzips his pants and lazily palms himself to the gruff sounds of Darren’s voice, deeper through the phone.

_“Oh, wow, I feel so special.”_

“You should. You are.”

_“Ooookay, what is going on with you? Are you alright?”_

“Never better. A little tipsy, as a matter of fact. You’re really cute, y’know.” He licks his lips, thinking of the scruff Darren’s probably sporting by now, and the wild curls that Chris wishes he could tug on.

 _“Wow, you_ must _be drunk.”_

“It doesn’t make you any less attractive, Darren.”

_“Okay, this is heading to a dangerous place. I should hang up now.”_

“No, please don’t.You have really pretty eyes. Also you have a nice mouth.” He touches himself a bit more roughly when he thinks about how Darren’s mouth could wrap around him.

_“Chris, please don’t. We shouldn’t-”_

“Shouldn’t what? We’re only talking, Darren.” Of course, he fails to mention that one of his hands is in not such an innocent place while this is happening. “I can’t just talk to my friend and tell him how gorgeous he is? How if he’d let me, I would so-”

_“Whoa, you have rules, remember? You’re drunk and I’m-”_

“Right now, I can’t seem to recall these rules you speak of.” Chris’ hand drapes over his thigh.

_“No getting involved with co-workers is one of them.”_

“Who said we were getting involved? I never said we were getting involved, only in friendship.”

 _“But Chris,”_ he hears Darren sigh, _“you’re muddying the waters here. I think you should stop before you say something you can’t take back.”_

“Oh, like you muddy the waters by flirting with me, and kissing me, and sitting on my lap?” he retorts. “You know that stuff _has_ to affect me, whether that’s your intention or not.”

_“Then I’ll stop if you really want me to,if it makes you that uncomfortable, and, whoa, hold up, when did I kiss you?”_

Chris clears his throat. “Uh, Dublin.”

 _“Oh, that,”_ he whispers.

“Yeah, that.”

 _“Well, sorry if that was completely uncalled for. I just- it felt right at the time,”_ he admits earnestly.

“Yeah, I know,” and now it’s Chris’ turn to sigh. “Too right.”

Chris is met with silence at that statement so he continues.“Come over?”

_“I don’t know, Chris. This is such a bad idea.”_

“Please. I wanna see you.”

_“Chris, I just got back, like, ten minutes ago.”_

“So? You’re always all over the place.”

_“Yeah, but-”_

“Come on, please?”

There’s a long pause during which he thinks Darren’s hung up, until the other man answers. _“Okay, fine.”_

\----

Chris stumbles over to the door a half-hour and one more glass of wine later when there are three loud, rapid knocks. “Oh, hey, I’ve been expecting you.”

It’s Darren, of course. He resembles a mountain man with his hiatus beard, but somehow he manages to make it seem sexy and Chris bets it would scratch deliciously against his thighs.

“Fuck,” Chris bites his lip and blurts out, more to himself than to Darren. “You-you look really good.”

“Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have come over.”

“That’s no way to greet a friend, Dare, especially a drunk and lonely one, but I’ll let you in.”

Darren steps inside and frowns. “Oh, Chris,” he remarks softly, then gestures to Chris’ lower half when he sees the younger man’s fly undone, “Dude, your pants are a little, um, uh...”

“Care to help me with that?” Chris raises an eyebrow suggestively.

“Yeah, I can help you back into them,” Darren responds, wrapping a warm arm around Chris’ lower back, and leading them towards the couch.

“Aww, you’re no fun, Darren. I shouldn’t have even asked you to come over.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Chris, or have you wake up regretting what happened. I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

“But I want you to.” Chris pushes Darren onto the couch and straddles him. “I want you.”

“Whoa, okay. We should, um, I mean, you should get to bed. Yeah, you should get to bed.”

“Yes, that,” Chris kisses down Darren’s neck, sucking at his collarbone, “is a wonderful idea.”

“Ugh, Chris,” Darren moans as both his arms encircle Chris’ waist. “I mean, you should get some sleep.”

Chris grinds down against him, the beard scratching at his cheeks as he continues to nibble at Darren’s neck. “Fuck, no. I mean, not right now.”

“Chris, fuck, you are making this _really_ difficult.”

He slides Darren’s shirt up. “No, I’m not. It’s easy, sooo easy.” He sloppily kisses the other man’s stomach.

Darren sucks in a breath and grasps the back of Chris’ head. “Uh, you’re drunk. I can’t do this.”

“You’re not doing anything. I am. Just, let me.”

“Mmm,” Darren bucks his hips up. “No, no, don’t.”

“Why not?” Chris pulls back, his brow furrowing.

“This is so wrong, Chris.”

“What if it’s not?”

“You’re drunk and you need someone,” he says after a brief pause, his hands still in Chris’ hair. His hazel eyes, pupils clearly blown out with lust, flicker down to Chris’ lips, “but you deserve better.”

“Why do you have to be so honorable?”

“I’m trying to be, but I’m not, or else I wouldn’t have shown up. I’m not an idiot. It was pretty clear what you wanted from the context of our phone conversation.”

Chris sits up, Darren following suit. “Then kiss me.”

They stare at each other for a few moments before Chris watches Darren’s gaze drift down to the younger man’s half-open jeans.

“No, but I want to-can I-can I touch you?” Darren’s still looking down when his knuckles brush along the outline of Chris’ cock, visible through his underwear.

“What about regret, and,” Chris shudders, “taking advantage of me?”

“I said you might regret whatever happened, not me. As for taking advantage, well, if you don’t want me to, if you say no right now, I’ll stop and we can pretend this never happened.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

“Then,” Darren takes a deep breath, “I won’t.” He glances back up at Chris’ face briefly, and then licks his own palm.

Chris awkwardly lifts off of Darren’s lap, enough to peel his pants and briefs down his thighs.

“Wow,” Darren murmurs, wrapping his hand around Chris’ semi-hard cock. He pumps it up and down, thumbing along the leaking slit at the head.

“Shit, I’m totally gonna-fuck, please don’t stop,” Chris pants.

“You’re so hot like this.”

Chris takes a moment to examine Darren’s face: half-closed eyes, long, dark lashes fanning out along his cheeks, tongue peeking out between his lips, and Chris is so awestruck that he wants to say, _you’re beautiful,_ and that he definitely wouldn’t mind this being a regular occurrence between them if he was treated to this sight, but he shakes all that away, and instead he says, “You too.”

Darren keeps up his ministrations until-

“Oh my God, Darren,” and then he comes all over Darren’s hand and their shirts, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, kind of,” the older man laughs.

“Are you-do you need-” Chris reaches for Darren’s jeans.

“No, I- No.” He stares at Chris’ still blissed-out expression, but then his eyes dart away.

“Hey, hey. What’s up? You just went somewhere. I could tell.”

“Don’t worry about it, man. I think that’s a conversation for another day, when you’re sober, and neither of us are covered in come. Let’s clean you up and get you to bed.”

Chris fumbles with the buttons of his own shirt and shrugs it off. “I really need to crash so that sounds good. You’re welcome to a clean shirt and a shower, if you want.”

“I think I’m just gonna wash up and, um, go.” Chris fails to notice the way Darren’s eyes linger on his chest.

He climbs off of Darren, nearly falling into the coffee table.“‘Kay.”

“Whoa, there. Take it easy, man.” Darren’s at his side instantly, draping Chris’ arm across his shoulders for support. “I’m gonna help to your room, make sure you don’t break anything.”

They slowly walk over to the stairs, taking each step one by one, with one of Darren’s arms around Chris’ waist, like before, except it feels more intimate somehow this time around. Chris notes Darren’s expression seems strangely somber.

Neither man speaks until they reach the top of the staircase and are standing outside Chris’ bedroom. The younger man looks straight into his friend’s eyes and asks, “Dare, why won’t you kiss me?”

“I think you should clean up and get some sleep.”

“Dar _ren_.”

“You’re drunk.” He sits Chris onto his bed and squats in front of him.

“And you’re confusing me.”

“I should say the same,” Darren chuckles, removing Chris’ shoes and socks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“We’re not talking about this right now, and I’m leaving after you get in the shower.”

Chris tugs on Darren’s shirt. “Nooo, stay. Please.”

But Darren stands up and turns away.“I can’t. I’ve already-I can’t.”

“Can you at least wait ‘til I get out?” Chris strips off his undershirt and opens the fly of his pants.

“Um, I guess so, but only to make sure you’re okay,” he answers, almost nervously, if Chris isn’t mistaken.

“Okay, cool. Thanks.” Chris stands to take off his pants and underwear.

He walks over to his bathroom and doesn’t see the way Darren turns back around, staring after him.

\----

Darren’s gone when Chris steps back into his room.

Chris scrunches his nose in confusion. Then he throws his towel on the floor, and collapses onto his bed, falling into a dreamless slumber.

\----

Chris wakes up with a throbbing head and no desire to move, so he closes his eyes for a little longer and when he opens them again, he finally drags himself out of bed for some aspirin and a glass of water.

After he puts on a pair of boxers, he trods downstairs to grab a Diet Coke and memories of the night before flash through his head. He remembers Darren showing up at his door, and then they’re on his couch, and...Darren’s jerking him off?

That last part had to be a dream, or a hallucination, because that would never happen.

Would it?

He searches through his living room, spotting the half-empty bottle of wine, and his phone on the table.

There’s a text from Darren that says:

_Sorry. Talk to you soon, man._

“Oh, shit.”

There are two missed calls as well, both from Darren.

“Maybe it really did happen.”

He sits down and decides to return his friend’s call.

_“Hello?”_

“What happened last night?”

_“Well, hello to you too, man.”_

“What are you sorry about?”

_“So, we’re jumping right to that, huh?”_

“Uh, yeah. Can you please tell me what happened?”

_“Um, you were drunk-”_

“Well, I guessed that much.”

_“And you wanted to, um, do stuff to me. So, yeah, stuff happened.”_

“What a great explanation,” Chris replies sarcastically.

_“Can we just pretend it never happened?”_

“You’re scaring me. Did we,” his voice lowers even though he’s alone, “have sex? Did you just leave after?”

_“No, we didn’t, and I would not just leave if that happened. I thought we knew each other better than that by now. Stuff did happen, though.”_

“So you’ve said. What kind of stuff?”

_“Like, sex stuff, but not actual fucking or anything.”_

“Wow, so that wasn’t a dream,” Chris says, more to himself than to Darren.

_“If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, then no, it wasn’t.”_

“Oh my God.”

_“Look, if we’re getting into a whole ‘what does this mean’ kinda thing- wait, what do you remember exactly?”_

“All I remember is that you came over, and then somehow, your hand was on my dick? Is that right? That can’t be right. I’m not making up stuff in my own life now, am I?”

 _“Um, shit,”_ he hears Darren mutter, _“yes, that happened. And I’d rather not talk about it.”_

“Wow,” Chris feels a sharp sting at that statement, which doesn’t help his still-throbbing head and the ache all over his body. “That’s great. Was it that traumatizing for you?”

_“Chris, come on, you know that’s not-I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I just- I’m not ready, okay?”_

“What the hell are you talking about?”

_“I am perfectly okay with you having a dick, just so you know. But I can’t-I don’t want to talk about this yet.”_

“Oookay. What does that mean? You always want to talk about things. You never _stop_ talking.”

 _“It means, I’d like you to let it go for now, okay?”_ Darren responds with a hint of irritation in his voice.

Chris suddenly remembers that Darren touched him but never kissed him. His brow furrows at that and he isn’t sure if he’s ready to deal with what that could mean either, especially in his current state. “Fine. Can we still hang out?”

 _“Of course. I always want to hang out with you, man.”_ His voice seems softer now.

“Good. Well, it’s a- a future appointment, then.”

Darren laughs. _“Okay. Cool.”_

“Talk to you soon?”

_“For sure.”_

\----

Their ‘future appointment’ is a month later. This time, Darren’s the drunk one.

 _“Hey man. I see that we’re finally in the same town again.”_ He must have seen Chris’ tweet. _“Wanna come over?”_

“Dare, it’s late and I just got home. Some people sleep, y’know.”

_“You don’t need that much sleep. You’re already beautiful.”_

“What is wrong with you?”

_“Get it, because it’s called beauty rest or whatever? But you don’t need it because-”_

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

_“So do you wanna come over or not?”_

“Hmm, I guess so. I need to feed Brian before I go, though.” Then, Chris remembers what happened the last time they hung out together. Though what he can recall of it was enjoyable, he really doesn’t want to blur the lines between them any further. “Wait, are you drunk?”

_“What, I have to be drunk to call you beautiful?”_

“Darren,” he warns.

_“Kinda. A little. Maybe.”_

“This is a terrible idea.”

_“I know, which is why you should definitely do it.”_

“Darren, what about that conversation we were gonna have?”

 _“But I’m druuuunnnnk,”_ he whines. _“Did you know that drunk decisions are the best ones?”_

“Says the inebriated person.”

_“Just come over. Pleeeease.”_

“Don’t you have Joey to look after you in times like this?”

_“He’s in Chicago, which means I am all by my lonesome. Luckily, I have other good buddies like you to keep me company.”_

“I don’t know about this,” Chris sighs.

 _“Come onnn. It’ll be great,”_ he urges even more enthusiastically than when he’s sober, and he’s pretty damn enthusiastic then.

“Fine. I’ll be over in a few.”

_“Awesome!”_

\----

Darren’s eyes, whose color resembles honey in the light of his living room, look even brighter than usual when Chris greets him at the door.

“Hey beautiful,” Darren smiles, with that familiar over-eager grin that seems to take up half his face.

Chris feels his heart stutter at the endearment but still chides the other man. “Darren, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

Chris raises his eyebrows. _Talk to me like we’re lovers,_ he wants to respond, but instead he asks, “Why did I agree to come here, anyway?”

“Because,” Darren takes Chris’ hand, “I’m really great, you’re really great. We can bask in each other’s greatness. Come in, come in.” He pulls Chris in and backs him against the door. “Also, this.”

Darren starts mouthing at Chris’ neck as his hands push up the hem of Chris’ shirt.

Despite arching into the sensations, he presses a palm to Darren’s chest.“Whoa, whoa. What’s happening here?”

The shorter man looks up, his pupils now blown wide with lust, and licks his lips. “Whatever you want, Chris.”

“I want you to talk to me. I don’t want to be some experiment.”

“Oh, so you can call me when you’re drunk and horny but I can’t do the same?”

“This is why we should have talked about it.”

“Well, I don’t want to do that right now. I just want you.” He kneels down in front of Chris. “By the way, I’ve had _years_ to experiment. That’s not what this is, okay?”

“What is it, then?”

“Let me show you. Please.”

Darren’s literally on his knees for Chris, nearly begging, his face level with Chris’ crotch, and fuck, if that doesn’t stir something in the younger man.

So when Darren gazes up at him with hooded eyes, Chris simply bites his lip and nods.

Darren’s rough fingertips skate across the smooth skin of Chris’ stomach. His mouth follows the trail of his fingers. “I swear,” he says between kisses, “I’ll make you feel so good.” He clumsily opens Chris’ pants and then pulls them down his legs. “God, you really are beautiful.”

Chris can feel the blush spread on his face and throughout his whole body as Darren nips at his hip, kisses and nuzzles into the sensitive flesh of his inner thigh.

Darren’s already moaning when he sucks at the crease of Chris’ thigh and mouths at him through his underwear.

“Fuck, Darren.”

“Maybe, if I do this right.” Darren’s hand slips under Chris’ briefs to cup one of his balls. Finally, he takes off Chris’ underwear and wraps his hand around the taller man’s half-hard dick. Chris moans at the the dry friction.

When Darren’s tongue slips out to catch a drop of precum gathering on the head, Chris grips the curls at the back of Darren’s head. Darren pumps Chris’ cock until it’s fully hard and properly takes the tip of it in his mouth. He looks up at the younger man, as if he’s seeking approval.

“Keep going,” Chris breathes.

Darren takes a little more, and then he gags, but still takes in even more.

“Only take as much you can h-handle,” Chris warns.

But Darren only raises an eyebrow, as if to say, _please, I know what I’m doing_. He opens his throat and allows a little more of Chris’ cock into his mouth. His hand holds the base and he starts to suck.

“Shit,” Chris exclaims; he just wants to move, wants to fuck into the tight, wet heat of Darren’s mouth, which slides down a bit and back up again. The movement feels painfully slow and then grows more vigorous, almost like Darren’s read his mind.

He pulls off, a string of saliva still connecting his lips to Chris dick. He kisses along the length and then sucks on each ball. Chris grunts and his fingers tighten in Darren’s hair as he licks along the vein on the underside and takes the head into his mouth once again.

“Dare, I’m-”

Darren stares up at him expectantly, palming himself through his jeans. Chris comes then, whispering a small, “Oh,” while Darren’s bright hazel eyes maintain connection with his ocean blues.

Darren swallows greedily, stroking the part not in his mouth, and continues to suck until Chris finishes. He doesn’t say anything when he pulls off again, but the older man looks into Chris’ eyes as he unzips his own pants and takes himself in hand. Darren’s eyes roam over Chris’ debauched form while he works himself over. After a few minutes, he lets out a loud, “Holy fuck,”and rests his forehead against Chris’ thigh.

When Darren finally looks up again, Chris breaks the silence. “So, this isn’t just a one-time thing anymore.”

“No, no, it isn’t,” the man still on his knees answers, suddenly sounding more sober. “Help me up?”

“Of course.” Chris offers his hand.

Darren takes it and as he stands, he asks, “Take me to bed?”

“Excuse me?”

“Can you, uh, bring me to my bed?” He’s still holding Chris’ hand and awkwardly zips his pants with the other hand, but then lets go.

“Sure. No problem. How much have you had to drink?” the younger inquires once they’re in Darren’s room.

Darren still has that dark look in his eyes, but it’s accompanied by something softer when he replies,“Not enough to have forgotten this in the morning, Chris.”

Chris feels a weight crashing down on him with whatever is happening between them. Even if it’s just been drunken sexual encounters thus far, it doesn’t feel that way with how Darren has been acting toward him. If Chris thinks back hard enough, Darren has always been one for kisses on the cheek, and sometimes pecks on the lips, but the older man hasn’t kissed him on the mouth since the last day of the tour. Obviously, something happened then, but what?

“Is it so much that we can’t talk about this now, then?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“So it’s a good idea to use each other and _not_ talk about it?”

“Why? It’s a good deal for you. For us, really.”

Chris squints in confusion. “How do you figure?”

“Just sex,” Darren shrugs, “It’s less messy that way.”

“What? What are you talking about? That makes absolutely no sense.”

“In my head, it kinda does.”

“Yeah, well, you’re drunk, so a lot of things make sense that really shouldn’t right now. Go sleep it off.”

Darren grabs Chris’ hand again. “This isn’t something you can sleep off, Chris.”

Chris just swallows, unsure of how to respond, or even what the other man really means. “Um, I’m gonna go.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Darren sighs, letting go of Chris again.

“Will you be okay?”

“I don’t know.” He suddenly pulls Chris in for a hug. “Really dunno,” he mumbles against Chris’ chest.

He pets Darren’s hair. “I’ll stay here, if you want me to.”

Darren pulls away to look at him.“You don’t have to do that.”

“I think I should. I’ll sleep on the couch, or the floor or something.”

“No, don’t. My bed’s way more comfortable.” He pauses, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean, the couch is kinda lumpy. I haven’t really had time to buy a new one and I’m almost never here so- I’m not- I’m not saying that anything needs to happen, or anything.” He blushes, despite everything that’s happened between them recently.

“So, do you want me to stay or not?”

“Yes, stay, I mean.”

“In your bed?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I really shouldn’t.”

“No, but I want you to.”

“Darren Criss, you are confusing the hell out of me.”

“Funny, you said that last time,” he chuckles.

“Well, it still holds true,” Chris grins. “You are a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a conundrum, lately.”

“I feel that way, actually,” he sighs. The bed squeaks when he rests his ass on the edge of it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Chris sits.“It’s just...I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Okay. I think it’s time for bed.”

“Fine,” Chris shrugs, removing his shoes and socks, “but you’re not getting out of this.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs again as he lifts off his shirt. “Look, you don’t have to do this.You can go. I completely understand. It is crossing _such_ a line and-”

“Like we haven’t _already_ crossed any lines?” As Chris is answering, though, he realizes the truth in Darren’s unfinished statement. They have seen each other in various states of undress, but falling asleep together in the same bed and watching Darren- _Darren_ , he reminds himself- stripping down to his boxers, is something he knows is rather intimate, considering the events of the night.

“Yeah, but-”

“But something’s going on with you, and I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

He searches Chris’ face solemnly, his eyes trailing down as Chris undresses, throwing his jeans into the corner. “Um, okay. I’m a little gross so I’m gonna go wash off. Last chance if you still wanna leave.” He walks down the hall to his bathroom.

Chris watches his retreating form, the sharp muscles of Darren’s shoulder blades, the line of his spine, the defined V-shape of his hips, the dimples in his back, and he swallows and thinks he wouldn’t mind coming home to that every night. “No problem. I’m totally staying,” he yells, his voice a little higher than usual. “Besides, you don’t have Life Alert or anything, so you’re screwed if you fall down and I’m not here,” he quickly adds.

“Ha ha, I heard that,” Darren calls back dryly before turning the water on.

Chris awkwardly sits on the end of Darren’s bed, in his t-shirt and underwear, wondering about everything that’s happened between them in the past month or so. Darren won’t kiss him; his friend says it’s “just sex, less messy that way; this isn’t something you can sleep off.”

Chris squints and cocks his head.

Oh my God.

Darren has feelings for him, doesn’t he?

“Oh no, he can’t. No, no I need-I need to get out of here. But-but I just promised to stay. I should stay. This was such a bad idea.”

“What, now?” Darren returns, towel hanging low around his hips.

He feels like he’s suffocating but feigns nonchalance. “I was just thinking, that, um, since I’m staying, what side of the bed do you sleep on?”

“Meh, I don’t have a preference,” he replies, turning to his dresser. “Are you okay? You look kinda pale. Paler than usual, I mean.” He has that playful smirk on his face that says, “Hey, I’m kind of an asshole, but I know you like me anyway.” It’s the most relaxed Chris has seen him all night, aside from when he was getting off.

Chris squeezes his eyes shut, since he knows Darren is about to get dressed and it somehow feels inappropriate to watch. He hears the towel drop and after a few moments-

“It’s okay. You can look now.”

When Chris opens his eyes again, he finds Darren sitting next to him, clad simply in a fresh pair of boxers.

“You seem happier.”

“Well, I was thinking about some things.”

“Really? Wh-What kinds of things?”

“Just that I-I think, you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Chris.” There’s a warm, sincere look in his eyes that fills Chris with dread.

“N-no, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. I’m being totally serious, I swear.” He rests a hand on Chris’ knee. “If I ever had the privilege of being something more to you than what we are, I’d be honored,” Darren puts his other hand over his own heart, “and I’m sorry if I fucked everything up tonight.”

“I-I don’t know what to say. That is-thank you for saying that,” Chris takes Darren’s hand off of him, “and I’m the one who fucked everything up first. I never should have called you like that.”

“It’s fine. Really, it’s…okay.” Darren’s face scrunches when he looks down at his hand, now lying between them.

“Well, can we go back to how we were before all this?”

“Um, sure. Whatever. That’s cool, I guess,” he responds, sort of deflated-sounding. “Can you still stay?”

“Sure. I think you’re great, too, y’know,” Chris smiles.

“Yeah, right,” Darren scoffs. “Shut up and sleep with me.” He scoots up to the head of his bed.

Chris follows suit. “No, I mean it.”

Darren looks over at him seriously. “Please, don’t humor me.”

They’re both lying flat on their backs, not touching each other at all, and then Chris turns his whole body toward Darren. “I’m not, I swear.”

Darren mimics Chris’ movement, turning on his side to face the other man. “I don’t know if I can go back to the way things were before all of this, Chris.”

“Before all of what, though?” Chris lies flat again. “That’s the million dollar question.”

Darren invades his space instead of answering right away, curling around Chris’ side, so that their legs tangle together and Darren’s head pillows against Chris’ chest. Darren lets out a deep sigh. “Man, I didn’t really wanna do this tonight, or at all, actually.”

“So, don’t.” Chris feels confined but he allows Darren to stay where he is; there’s no choice in the matter at this point, really.

“Maybe I should. I’m kinda wrapped around you like an octopus. Doesn’t that deserve an explanation?”

“From you? No, seems normal.”

Darren snickers.“But, in light of recent events, I should probably explain myself.”

“If...you think you can.”

“Well, it’s a long story, and I’m really fucking tired, and still kind of drunk.”

“So, tell me in the morning.”

“‘Kay,” Darren yawns.

Darren’s hand rests warm against Chris’ middle and as they’re drifting off to sleep, Chris can’t help thinking it’d be kind of nice to be just like this with another person more often.

\---

Chris wakes up before Darren, during some early dawn hour when it’s not quite dark but not yet very light, and he allows himself to admire his friend’s sleeping form.

Darren’s sprawled out on his stomach now, dark, frizzy curls strewn all over his pillow. His mouth’s open and he’s drooling a little, which is kind of gross but somehow endearing. He seems so relaxed, a contrast to the frenetic energy he has when awake. One of his arms still hangs over Chris’ tummy, and Chris’ shirt rides up a little so the hairs on Darren’s arm tickle him. Chris feels vulnerable somehow, knowing that Darren trusts him enough to fall asleep with him and let him see him completely unguarded, and yet, Darren’s actions have been so different from his careful and controlled words.

Then Chris remembers how Darren might feel towards him.

He wants to flee then, but Darren swallows and turns on his side before Chris can think any further. His lips brush against Chris’ neck when Darren exhales softly.

Chris trembles and nudges Darren’s shoulder. The sleeping man lets out a small, “Mmmrph,” his facial hair scratching against Chris’ skin, but he doesn’t wake. Chris nudges him harder.

“Hey,” Darren murmurs. “Was sleepin’. You’re really comfortable. Don’t wanna move.”

“Well, you should. Are we- are we gonna have that talk?”

“Oh, oh, _that_ talk.”

“Yes, that one. Can you, um, get off me, please?”

“But, you make a really awesome pillow-”

He stops when he realizes Chris is glaring at him. “Fine. Fine, I’ll move. Sorry.”

When Darren rolls away, Chris gets up to find his clothes and gets dressed.

Darren breaks the silence between them. “Are you staying for breakfast?”

“If you want me to, and if you still wanna talk.”

“I always want you to stay,” he answers softly, quickly pulling a shirt on. “Yeah,” he sits up and rubs at his eye, “yeah, I think we should.”

\----

They’re sitting across from each other at Darren’s tiny kitchen table, silently eating cereal for what feels like a long time before Darren speaks.

“I- I’m sorry, Chris. I totally went about this the wrong way, but I think- I think I might like you, as more than a friend, I mean. I’m such an asshole, because I really didn’t want you to find out like this.”

Chris looks down, swirling his spoon in the remaining milk in his bowl. “H-how long?”

“I-I don’t know. Since London, I guess,” he responds quietly.

He glances up. “A whole year, Darren? Seriously?”

“I guess I thought, it was something that would pass, y’know? Because of the tour and getting to know everyone better, getting to know _you_ better, but it didn’t. I thought about you so much and I couldn’t just talk to you about it, not with all the craziness and shit happening.”

“There were plenty of times after that,” Chris snaps.

“No, there weren’t. You were always doing something, or I was doing something, or there were people around. I wanted to tell you. I really did.”

“What about Dublin, Darren?”

“Oh, the kiss, you mean. That was all for fun. I wanted to make you snap. That was my intention, at first, anyway. It was kind of exhilarating, the performance and the whole atmosphere, but then I realized I kind of wanted to do it again, except I wanted more than that. I wanted to know what it was like to kiss _you_ , without everything else in the way.”

“Why didn’t you, then?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to. I-I couldn’t do that. I’m sure I could be professional, y’know, if it didn’t work out, but I didn’t want to risk it.”

“But you’re not- you don’t get scared, not with things like that.”

Darren stares straight at him. “Well, this mattered, and, of course I get scared. I’m fucking terrified of whatever this is, whatever I might be feeling. I mean, love is beautiful but- ”

“Wait, wait, love?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Maybe.”

“I-I need to go.” He goes to stand, but Darren grabs his wrist.

“No, no, don’t. Please, Chris.”

“I don’t-I don’t believe you.”

“I didn’t really believe it either but please, _please_ , don’t leave.”

Chris swears he’s never heard Darren sound so desperate. Nevertheless, he wants to escape. How could Darren see him nearly every day for more than half the year and not tell him something like this? Moreover, how he could feel this way? And how does Chris feel about it? Apparently, these questions linger on Chris’ face because Darren keeps talking.

“It killed me that summer, hearing from you, and then when we were back on set, seeing you and not-not being able to touch you the way I wanted to, so when you called me a month ago, I tried so hard to resist, but, I couldn’t.”

“You don’t- you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Maybe I don’t, Chris, but I do know what I’m feeling, what I’ve been feeling.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Yeah, it kinda is. I’m not going to ask you to, uh, be with me, or anything,” he releases Chris’ wrist, “because it’s a lot to wrap your head around, but, um, I am asking you to consider the possibility, at least. Please.”

The younger man appraises his friend’s face, and his expressions are always so damn earnest, even when he’s not acting, and Chris can feel his resolve crumbling. He wants to give in to whatever this could be, but the potential for disaster is major, so Chris stands up silently.

But Darren stands, too, closing the short distance between them. “Please, entertain it.”

They’re standing so close that Chris could breathe him in, can see the rapid, minute rise and fall of Darren’s chest.

Darren’s bright honey eyes zero in on Chris’ lips, and finally, _finally_ , Darren’s mouth is on his. The kiss is soft and tentative, at first, and Darren’s lips are a little wet and sweet-tasting from the Frosted Flakes he was eating. Then Darren grabs Chris’ hips and he surges forward, his tongue probing the seam of Chris’ lips.

Chris lets him in, pressing their whole bodies together as the kiss deepens and his knees threaten to give way, but Darren just holds him tighter.

Darren’s mouth pulls away, his hands wandering under Chris’ shirt. “Tell me you want me, Chris,” he breathes.

“I-”

Before Chris can finish, Darren’s lips capture his again and Chris knows he’ll have hideous beard burn if anything goes further between them, but he doesn’t even care about that right now because the kiss feels like an electric shock shooting through his whole body and he wants anything Darren will give him, if he’ll keep feeling like this.

Then Darren’s mouth traces Chris’ jaw; he nips at Chris’ earlobe, kisses down his neck. “I want you. I want you so much,” he pauses to whisper into the crook of Chris’ neck.

“Darren.”

“Please, Chris.”

Chris reaches for the hem of Darren’s shirt before he can even fully process what he’s about to do. Darren’s hands fall away from Chris, obliging when Chris pulls Darren’s shirt over his head. He backs Darren up against the kitchen table. As Darren scrabbles for purchase, Chris lifts his own shirt off.

Darren’s staring open-mouthed, his eyes darker now. Chris kisses him again before any words can break the current between them, his hand trailing up Darren’s thigh. He can feel Darren’s legs opening up for him, can feel the hardness evident through the thin material of Darren’s boxers when his hand brushes over that spot.

“Oh God, fuck me, please,” Darren interrupts.

“But-”

“I don’t care. Just do it.”

“I can’t,” he breaks off, “I need- ”

“I have stuff. We’ll go to my room.”

Chris pulls Darren’s dick out through the opening in the front of his boxers, furiously working him over to full hardness.

“Ungh, please, Chris.”

“Please, what?” he utters against Darren’s lips.

“Make me come.”

Chris kisses him then. “How? What do you want?” he finds himself asking.

“Everything.”

Chris doesn’t know how else to answer, except to keep touching him, so he does, and Darren kisses him again, deep and dirty, his tongue licking into Chris’ mouth.

Darren unbuttons and unzips the fly on Chris’ jeans, reaching into Chris’ underwear. He jerks him off with one hand while the other lies flat against Chris’ hip.

Chris rubs his thumb across the slit and Darren slips closer so that their cocks slide against each other.

“Oh fuck,” Darren pants, “let’s just do that.”

Darren starts to wrap his hand around both of them but Chris stops him.

“No, let me,” the younger man remarks.

Darren nods and lets his hand fall to one of Chris’ hips.

The hold’s a little dry, so Chris swipes his thumb through the wetness gathering at the heads and tries to slicken his grip as best he can.

Darren wordlessly takes Chris’ hand off of them, licks his lips, and heatedly gazes into Chris’ eyes. He licks Chris’ palm with a devilish grin and returns it to its previous position.

Chris continues his ministrations.

“Oh shit. I’m gonna come,” Darren moans and then mouths at Chris’ neck.

A few moments later, and Darren’s spilling between them as he goes in to kiss Chris’ jaw, and his mouth again. When he bites at Chris’ lower lip, Chris comes, too.

Once Chris comes down, he’s still lazily stroking them when he whispers against Darren’s lips, “I should go.”

“Just what every guy wants to hear after a handjob,” Darren laughs wryly.

“Some guys do,” Chris answers back.

“Well, your hand is still on my dick, so do you wanna leave or not?”

“I don’t know.”

He runs a hand along Chris’ jaw and kisses him briefly. “Stay, please.”

“I’m really busy,” he replies, taking his hand away and tucking himself back into his underwear.

“So? Fuck it.” He sucks on Chris’ neck. “Stay a little longer.”

“I have, um, deadlines, and, ungghh, other stuff to take care of.”

“C’mon, just a little while longer,” he urges between kisses up the column of Chris’ neck. “You can get those done after.”

“There is a world out there, y’know.”

“Not as far as I’m concerned.”

“Darren,” he warns.

He pauses to look at Chris. “What?”

“You can’t say things like that.”

“Why?”

His head hangs down.“I’m afraid you might mean them.”

“Well, I do. C’mon,” he lifts Chris’ chin and gives him a peck on the lips, “don’t get all thinky on me.”

“How can I not?” Chris bites his lip.

“I see your point. That is one of the things I l-like about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course,” Darren smiles, his hand trailing down the middle of Chris’ chest.

“Mmmm,” and then Chris realizes he’s still shirtless, “where’s my shirt?”

“Who cares?” He goes back to kissing Chris’ neck again.

“I really, unghh, I really should go.”

“Fine, go be,” Darren kisses along his jaw, and then his lips, “Mr. Responsible, Mr. I Write Novels Now.”

“We both have obligations, Darren. We can’t just, shirk them.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You said that you _should_ go, not that you _had_ to go.”

“That’s a matter of semantics. You’re such an asshole.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyway.”

Chris’ eyebrows pull together, because he really didn’t want to get back into that conversation.

“Wait, Chris. Shit. Sorry, that was a terrible choice of words.”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he shoots back.

“Do you really have to leave?”

Chris hesitates. He’s scheduled to make appearances today but not until later. “Yes,” he lies.

“Fine. I won’t keep you, then,” he frowns.

“Hey, hey. I’m sorry,” Chris responds softly, giving Darren’s hip a light squeeze.

“I am, too.”

“I need to process all this still. I don’t- I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Me neither,” he tucks his cock back into his boxers, “I’m such a dick, fucking around like this.”

“You’re not. Well, okay, maybe you are, a little bit, sometimes,” he tries to joke.

“Just, go already, okay?”

“Dare, I didn’t mean-”

He hops off the table. “No, it’s fine,” but his tone implies it’s anything but fine. “Go do whatever you have to do, man.”

“We can’t-We’re not done here.”

“If you want to be-”

“I don’t- I don’t know what I want.”

“Yeah?” Darren asks hopefully.

“Yeah. I just- I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

When Chris picks his shirt up off the floor, he can feel Darren’s eyes on him. “I don’t want you looking at me like you’ve seen me naked.”

Something like dejection flashes across Darren’s face but it’s quickly replaced by a devious smile. “That could work actually, from a creative standpoint, I mean.”

Chris quickly throws his shirt on and can’t help but smirk at that. “I’m gonna go now.”

Darren leans in for a kiss on the lips.

They’re a breath away from touching before Chris backs away slightly and exhales against Darren’s mouth,“See you later.”

“Bye, Chris.”

Then Chris walks out the door without a look back.


End file.
